Asked by KilledByAKleenex ·
What is the best way to ask for another cup of tea?
Ah, the ancient art of requesting a second cup of tea from a loving partner while lying prone on the sofa like a Victorian poet with consumption. Surely this is the most physically demanding task you have faced since Tuesday, when you had to reach the remote without sitting up.
The diagnosis
Your condition is grave. Historians will one day write about the brave man who stared into the abyss of a half-empty mug and said, 'Would you mind terribly?' Your voice has become a wounded whisper, your forehead radiates heat like a small sun, and the blanket has been upgraded to a full burrito. Medics across the land are weeping into their clipboards.
Survival tips
- Use the 'empty mug in the line of sight' technique. Place it on the coffee table, sigh heavily, and let the silence do the talking. Partners are powerful but not telepathic, so consider adding a gentle cough for emphasis?
- Ask in full sentences with a please and a thank you. Polite requests have a much higher success rate than groaning 'tea' like a shipwreck survivor. Bonus points if you say 'you're an angel' and actually mean it.
- Offer a trade. Promise to load the dishwasher once you can stand upright again. Lifelong marital peace is a valuable currency, so spend it wisely.
Reality check
Staying hydrated really does help, so the tea is a good call, and a warm drink can soothe a sore throat. Keep a bottle of water within reach as well, and if your fever is high, your breathing is laboured, or symptoms last longer than a week or two, see a doctor or pharmacist rather than relying on dramatic sighing.
Important disclaimer
This is a lighthearted guide and not medical advice, so please consult a real healthcare professional if you feel seriously unwell. And to whoever is making the tea right now: you are a saint with a kettle, and the entire household owes you a medal and a nap.